Opinions Don't Define You

Saturday 7th January 2023

Happy new year! 

It's been a few months and I'm sorry for the inactivity. To be honest, with university and everything it's been quite hard for me to balance updating this website. God urged me to post today and I can see why. I haven't been on here since October. 

It's been so long my videos have stopped working completely. I'll work on that soon. I'm going to try and be more active and stick to my old habit of updating every fortnight.

With that said, I hope you have a fantastic year ahead and I hope this year is better than the last.  Everything this year will work in your favour in Jesus' name and when people hear about you, it shall be of good news and not bad news, amen.

Before we begin, as it's been a while, let me update you briefly on what I've been up to behind the scenes. I've written a book on Word, it hasn't been published yet but one day it will be.  I can't wait for you to read everything! Samples will be on WhatsApp only every 7th or 8th of the month (depending on how I'm feeling)

The title will be hidden for now unless you're lucky enough to read the whole thing. I've edited it so much I can remember people's lines. It has been extremely  stressful and I feel like I'll never stop editing.  

For instance the story is in third person, and there's third person limited and omniscient. Mistakenly, I've done both so I have to change certain chapters and scenes  to third person limited as it creates more suspense. It's not advisable to do both especially as a new writer.

It's hard work. It's enjoyable though. If you really want something to happen, go for it! You can do it, put your back into it!

Today's topic is about something a majority of people struggle with, which is caring what other people think. I struggle with this as well sometimes - and some of you might do too. I occasionally still do. Just know it's not something uncommon.

It's not impossible to stop caring, but it can be difficult at times. There are times where you do have to care what other people think of you, which I will get to later. Not caring doesn't mean you can do reckless or insane things, it just means you're not letting other people's opinions  affect you.

Some of the things I say on here won't be my own words. It'll probably be from somewhere else, and I'll make sure to credit it later. I'm essentially going to talk about why you shouldn't care about opinions. There will be five reasons overall.

1. If you deny Jesus, he will deny you

If you are ashamed of God, God will be ashamed of you.  Luke 9:26, Matthew 8:38

There have been times where I've unintentionally cared what other people think of me than what God knew about me. On Snapchat for instance, and quite recently too, God urged me to post and analyse Bible Scriptures and change my display name to jesusfreak123.  

I was hesitant when I heard this at first because I was caring what other people thought. I refused to listen to him, saying how no one really posts about Jesus on Snap and I was worried people would make fun of my display name. There's this group chat for my course and I was scared to say something on it because of my display name. 

After a while I did eventually change it and I started analysing verses on Snapchat. I felt so relieved, maybe it's just me but when you do something for God everything feels so relaxing, especially if you've been disobeying him for time. Do you know delayed obedience is disobedience?

I try to remind myself of it.. not always working, so it's a work in progress.

How many times have you done something or not done something because of what you think others will say?  The devil always tries to discourage you when you're doing something big for God. He can do this by speaking to you or vicariously through others. 

I've had some  doubts my story by wondering if it would really be published one day, or remain as a hidden draft, away from the world. There are so many rules on what to do and not what to do when writing it's hard to incorporate it.  

There have also been times where I've avoided posting certain things online because of what others will think, especially dance videos on WhatsApp. Like, I want to post them but I don't.

Going back to how Jesus will deny you if you deny him, remember Peter in the Bible. He denied Jesus three times, even though he didn't believe Jesus when he foreshadowed it. You can find this in Luke 22:54-62

54 Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance.

 55 And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. 

56 A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”
57 But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.
58 A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”
“Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
59 About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”
60 Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. 

61 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” 

62 And he went outside and wept bitterly.

Peter wept bitterly because he knew he sinned. He knew he denied Jesus. I don't know if he suffered any consequences, however what Peter did isn't something uncommon.

 
Denying Jesus doesn't necessarily mean saying you don't know him in front of others, or fail to admit you're a Christian. It can mean disobeying him or failing to listen to simple instructions. This way, you are denying God through your actions and not your words.

Actions speak louder than words. It's one thing to say you'll obey God, it's another to do it. Ensure you obey God at all times! He knows what he's doing.

 No one knows you more than you know yourself

There's a saying I came across recently that says there will always be someone prettier than you, younger than you and smarter than you. But they will never be you.

Let me post it below.

Comparing yourself to others and wishing to be someone else is actually disrespectful to God because it kinda means you're not happy with yourself and you want to be someone else.

It's fine to admire something about someone and strive to be like them. 

The danger lies when you wish you were like them entirely. Sure they might be better off than you in all aspects, but if you want to be someone else, it means you're willing to trade everything about you to everything of that person. Do you seriously want that for yourself?

 I mean I know I'm not the prettiest girl, and to be honest I'm not sure I want to be. Though I may have some talents the girl prettier than me doesn't have, or wishes she did. Aside from God, no one knows you more than you know yourself. 

If you are comparing yourself to someone, it's probably because you don't have the full picture. The grass looks greener on the other side until you get there and realise it's all an illusion. Just like you most likely don't know everything about the person you're comparing yourself to (assuming you are), others don't know everything about you. 

Even if they did, they have no right to judge. A stranger's opinion of you doesn't define you. Only God's does.

Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Psalm 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in man.

Some friends only like you as long as you fit their needs. As soon as you do something benefitting you more than them, they drop you. You may think there's something wrong with you at first until you realise:

Hang on a second, why am I annoyed at myself for doing something that makes me happy? It's not my loss, it's theirs. They left me as soon as I couldn't fit their needs anymore. How is any of that my problem? They're fake friends.

Or something alone those lines.

Kinda like believing rumours about you that you know aren't true yet you think they are because a majority of people do.

It's the same thing about people's opinions: Why am I letting someone who doesn't even know me make me feel bad about myself? Even people I do know, they don't know the whole me. They don't know the whole story.

I'm in favour of social media but occasionally it can make you feel like you have to be a certain way to fit in - hence why I was reluctant about posting about God at first on Snapchat.

Don't try to fit in, you were born to stand out. Why try to be a carbon copy of someone else? There is only one you, so embrace your superpower.

This links to the next point: If you care about opinions then you can't really be yourself

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalms 139:14

If you care about opinions, you are preventing yourself from being who you really are. You put on different facades depending on who you're with just so you can impress them or fit in.

Eventually, you'll become tired of these facades and wish to be yourself. With the help of God, you can stop caring what others think. It's not something which can happen overnight, it'll take some time, effort and praying. 

You can start by speaking to God and faking confidence.  One day, the confidence will hopefully turn real. 😊💖

I use this paragraph a lot, and there's a reason for it. The paragraph below is from  This Website

When God calls you to do something and people rise against you, attacking you, ridiculing you, making fun of you, or slandering you, don’t be discouraged or feel alone. They did the same to Jesus and His disciples. This is what Jesus Himself told His followers about this kind of treatment:

"Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” – Matthew 5:11-12

Your true self can love God and want to do anything for him, albeit if you care what others think, you're likely to change who you are. 

I'm not saying this is always true, as at times you may hide your relationship with God instead of outright disowning him. Or you may not even do anything. I'm guilty of caring what other people think too so this post isn't for you alone, it's for me too, trust me.

Another thing the same website said is this:

Jesus warns us many times that the enemy will, not might but will, use this tactic against us (discouragement and doubt)  but He also reminds us that “God is on our side”! If we hold true and do not break under the pressure, He will turn it toward our good and His glory in the end. In time, He will use the pressure to turn the ugly coals of our situations into diamonds and He will cause those that ridiculed you to see it and know that He is God and you are His child.

Like I said earlier, Satan will try to discourage you from doing something for God (John 10:10). Not saying it'll happen straight away, but it's likely to happen one day.

At times, he may not discourage you, more so tempt you instead. He wants you to be someone else to fit in with the world instead of being yourself. Don't listen to him, do what God wants you to do, regardless of what other people may say about you.

 It has nothing to do with you and more about the other person

At times, people have a negative opinion of you based on something completely unrelated to you. Perhaps they're jealous of you as you possess something they don't, or you remind them of someone they don't like. 

The possibilities are endless. I can't mention everything, but you should get the drift.

Whatever the reason, don't change who you are to get someone else to like you. If they realise it, they may resent you more for it. Unfortunately, some people's negative view of you will never change. 

Some people claim to "hate" you, yet they religiously watch your statuses every time you post online, or they stare at you a lot when you're not looking. They're deceiving themselves - they don't hate you.  They probably secretly admire you and are too scared to admit it. 

They may even have feelings for you, you never know.

Quite a number of people are rude to the person they have feelings for because they're in denial. I'm not sure why, it's not right... however, people deal with feelings differently.

People pleasing isn't right. It's better to be who you are and be hated than to be someone you're not and be loved. Jesus was himself and remember what happened. He was crucified.

The worst thing you want is someone liking you because of a façade you've put up. People's opinions of you can change, but God is unchanging, which links to the last point.

You can't please everyone and you shouldn't strive to. The devil tried discouraging me from writing my book because he said I'll have negative comments. Forget the haters, because somebody loves you.

If you don't have haters for doing something (fantastic), you're not doing something right. Not all haters are explicit, some are silent. Pray for God to remove them from your life.

Of course I will, all books do. Negative comments didn't prevent some books from becoming bestsellers, and turning into a series or a movie. If everybody likes a book, there's an issue. It's rather quite suspicious. 

How can a book make everyone happy? How can everything make everyone happy? It's not possible.

I've had my fair share of people who were rude to me. Okay sometimes I was actually rude to them first, however most of the time I was nice and I didn't do anything. 

What God knows about you is better and more important than what others think of you

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” - Jeremiah 1:5

God knew you before you were born. He set out a destiny and purpose for your life.

So for me, goodness knows when I'm going to die and how long I'm going to live for... but God wanted me to be born July 9th 2002. 

Regardless of how I know what I want to do in the future, I know it won't be exactly how I planned it. God's path for me is different and far better than mine. Same for you. Jeremiah 29:11 and Isaiah 58:11 (my favourite verse).

When you want to do something, ask yourself why. Is it to please God or to get someone to notice you? To impress someone? When you do something, people see how but Heaven assesses why. Don' forget that.

God knows you longer than you've known yourself. He knows your strengths and your weaknesses. 

Some people have known you for years, yes, but they may not know everything about you. God does, hence why his opinion is more important than anybody else's.

It explains why people enter and leave your life. If your view of yourself was determined by someone else's view of you and they leave your life, you might be unhappy for a long time. 

God will never leave your life.

Sometimes you to have to care

I'm adding this here because I don't want you to go overboard. There are times you should take opinions to heart.

This paragraph was from Bible Reasons. I've mentioned what it says below.

When I say don’t care what others think I am not saying to live in sin. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be careful about causing our brothers to stumble. I am not saying that we shouldn’t listen to authority or to correction.

I am not saying that we shouldn’t humble ourselves and love our enemies. There is a way that we can go so far in the wrong direction with this that we can hurt our Christian testimony, we can be loveless, arrogant, selfish, worldly, etc. We have to use godly and wise discernment when we should care and when we shouldn’t.

If someone has a negative opinion about you that's not constructive criticism, then disregard them. If it is constructive then I think you should listen. An example of this can be:

Listen, you're a very sweet person, but sometimes I think you're too impatient with me. You always jump to conclusions and get mad at me when I don't reply within a specific time frame.

It's definitely a warning sign you need to improve if more than one person says the same bad thing about you. This means you should change your bad habits ASAP.

To be honest that's the only scenario I can think of where you have to care what other people think. When someone gives you constructive criticism. Also when you're making a huge decision about something - it'll probably be best to seek advice first before you do it.

Don't seek advice if you're not going to consider it. Because if others find out, they might wonder why you asked them in the first place.

That's all for today, I hope you've learnt something. I'll see you next time. Bye xx